Smokers vs. Non-smokers

Since we just started our final semester on the island, new neighbors moved in to our building and the building next to ours. We have at least two people in our building who are smokers and several in the building right next to our bedroom window. As students started trickling back from break, we started noticing more and more cigarette smoke in our apartment. We noticed one of our new neighbors smoking on her balcony. So we decided to politely ask her to smoke on the other side of her apartment to avoid cigarette smoke from pooling into our bedroom window. She was very apologetic and ever since that single discussion, she smokes on the opposite side. We never smell smoke from her in our bedroom. This was the second positive experience we had with a smoker in our building. When we explained how the wind and our fan direct the smoke directly into our room and how Josh is allergic, these two individuals were more than willing to accommodate our request.

Then we started noticing more and more cigarette smoke in our bedroom. Many times it occured when our one neighbor was not home so we knew it was coming from another source. The smoke was so pungent that we literally felt like someone was blowing smoke directly into our face. Both of us had trouble breathing, got an instant headache, and of course became agitated. The right to clean air seems like such a basic right that people shouldn't need to discuss it. I support any one's right to choose. But I think choices come with responsibility. For instance, if I decide to eat lots and lots of sweets, does anyone have to right to tell me that I can't eat those delicious sweets? I don't believe so. But I have to accept responsibility for the harm this choice causes my body and how this choice could affect those around me. Maybe I will develop diabetes and my friends and family will be burdened by this disease. Or maybe someone will view my habits and develop similar behavior of their own. The point is if someone wants to smoke... I say "Good on yah mate"... but also I would say to be aware of how that choice affects others around you.

So girl next door, this is how your smoking affects us: 1. My husband is allergic so he literally struggles to breathe when forced to consumer second hand smoke. 2. Josh and I have made the conscious decision not to smoke in our life and this choice should be respected i.e. a smoke-free life, and 3. The cost for us to have to close our windows and run our A/C is an almost unbearable expense. 4. Headaches from the toxic fumes and from the agony of fighting over this situation.

(Now I am jumping off my soapbox....)

We discovered where the smoke was originating. A couple in the building next to ours were smoking on their balcony. Unfortunately their apartment is positioned directly next to a wind tunnel between buildings that brings the smoke directly into our bedroom. Josh kindly approached the guy and explained the situation. The guy seemed accommodating and assured us that we would move downstairs and away from our building to avoid "second-handing" us. Josh was grateful and left. Not more than an hour later did we smell the smoke again. So Josh when downstairs again to assess the situation. Much to his surprise, the guy and his girlfriend were both smoking in the exact same place as before. When the guy saw Josh, he rolled his eyes and sighed. (Not a sigh like I am sorry my smoke is still bothering you but a sigh like you are so annoying for asking me to move again). This of course frustrated Josh relentlessly. I tried to calm him down and diffuse the situation but it was too late. By this time it was time for bed and our room was filled with smoke. I waited for them to finish their cigarettes and blasted fresh air into the apartment. Josh fell asleep quickly and I just put my sheets over my mouth and nose to drown out the smell.

The next morning, both of us had sore throats and tight chests. I am sure smoke continued to fill our room as we slept.

So last night, we decided that if we smelled smoke again that I would go down because maybe they wouldn't know we were married and they would just think it was someone else complaining. We had wishful hopes that this might convince the couple that this was a problem affecting several people and a reasonable accommodation would be in order. Well sure enough around 9:30 smoke poured in. So I walked over to the building and sure enough, the girl and her friend were smoking in nearly the same location. I explained how the smoke was coming into my bedroom because of the wind direction and asked if she would mind moving to the other side of the building. She proceeded to turn her back to me, make faces to her friend, and act as if I was asking for her to give me an organ. I even acknowledged the inconvenience this would cause her and apologized for that. She didn't care to listen, snapped at me, and said "FINE I will move". I said thank you and left. But no more than 15 minutes later did we smell cigarette smoke. SIGH

Where did we go wrong? I recognize that we were a little pushy but our sleep was being jeopardized and that is nothing to joke about. Any suggestions on how to make the smoker listen to our requests and move? Or is it a lost cause and should we just "bite the cigarette" and use our A/C at night? Why does there have to be a war between smokers and non-smokers? Another SIGH!